Writing Tip...Backloading
I was introduced to this concept by Margie Lawson in her
course Empowering Characters Emotions, which I mentioned in
a previous post. And I've been having some fun playing with
it in my revisions.
So, the overall principal of backloading is rather simple.
Removing your strongest words from where they are embedded
at the center of your sentence structure and putting them at
the end to add emphasis, to provide more psychological
weight. This technique is particularly powerful at the end
of paragraphs, scenes and, of course, chapters.
But beware of backloading at the expense of either your
voice or a smooth read.
Here are a few examples I took from my own work so you could
get an idea of how the concept works.
1)
Original: This was the
first time she saw her own death looming, a grim reaper
lurking in the corner shadows of this cellar.
Empowered:
But
this was the first time she saw her own death looming in the
shadowed corners of this cellar like the grim reaper.
I love this revision. Ending with
'grim reaper' is much more powerful than 'this cellar'.
*****
2) Original:
Somewhere deep inside, she knew she was inching closer to
death, to the last minutes of her life.
Empowered:
Somewhere deep inside, she knew she was inching closer to
the last minutes of her life, to death.
Very small change, but this example
ends both more powerfully with 'death' and I think power is
added when I go from the softer description 'last minutes of
her life' and echo it with 'death' than visa versa.
*****
3) Original: His eyes lowered and focused on his hands, the pleasure
glinting there unmistakable.
Empowered:
His
eyes lowered and focused on his hands with an unmistakable
glint of pleasure.
This one is subtle. One could argue
it's so subtle, it's ambiguous. But I believe every little
positive change, no matter how subtle, add up to a killer
book. (Take that with a grain of salt...Considering I have
yet to be published.)
*****
4) Original: The insult stung and stole her breath for a second.
Empowered:
The
insult stung and stole her breath.
Another minor, subtle change.
*****
5) Original: She couldn't help but smile back at him, but her pleasure
dimmed when he took hold of her upper arm and turned her
toward Geoff.
Empowered:
She
couldn't help but smile back at him, but when he took hold
of her upper arm and turned her toward Geoff, her pleasure
morphed into dread.
This sentence ends a chapter, and I
think it not only adds power to the passage, but gives the
reader more of a reason to turn the page.
*****
Sometimes, while I'm cramming information into my head,
struggling to take that next step in bettering my craft
skills, I get bogged down with all the techniques,
suggestions, even conflicting suggestions, and end up
feeling overwhelmed, which often leads to paralysis.
I found this technique both powerful and simple to apply.
