Finding time to write in today's chaotic world
One of the most common questions I get
asked as a writer (after "Are you published?" and
"Where do you get your ideas?" oh, and my personal favorite
"Romance? You mean smut novels?" but that's a whole other
topic) is where do you find time to write?
I am a mother of two girls, 14 and 10. Between the two of
them, they participate in the Tae Kwon Doe, soccer,
basketball, softball, tennis, track, horseback riding, guitar
lessons, Girl Scouts and
various volunteer pusuits.
My husband is a Fire Captain for the California Department
of Forestry and is often sent all over the state to fight
fires. As I write this, he has been gone two weeks, hopping
between a fire in Los Angeles and the threat of fire in San
Diego. His profession renders me a single mom at least 2/3
of the time.
I work two part-time jobs. My first as a sonographer at a
clinic near my home, and the second as a glass artist making
and selling both glass beads and jewelry.
And then there's my writing. I average 5 hours of writing a
day, 7 days a week.
Here's how I do it: routine,
flexibililty and delegation.
Routine:
Anyone who really knows me is now laughing his or her ass
off. If there were an antonym to 'Joan' it would be
'structure'. But when it comes to writing, I've developed a
great pattern--every morning after I drop the girls at
school, I go to my neighborhood McDonald's, get breakfast
and write.
(Anticipated snickers from the audience here)
There's something about writing away from home. No phone
calls, no unsolicited visitors, no washing machine beeping
to remind you that you've got clothes to dry and fold, no
chores pulling at you as you take a bathroom break... "Oh, I
should really sort those bills, check my email again, make
my bed, get on that treadmill, etc." I also find the quiet
hum of activity in the restaurant soothing, like white
noise. I slink into a corner booth where the sun doesn't
reflect on my screen and just melt into the woodwork for two
solid hours.
Okay, maybe not solid. After a couple years of
this, I have joined the ranks of the other "regulars", all
of whom are above the age of 65, and all of whom looooooove
to chat. But they also give a lot of encouragement, and it's
the nicest feeling to walk into that restaurant in the
morning and have them smile and wave and ask what I'm
working on now, or how the revisions on book four are coming
or whether I've heard back from my agent this week.
And this, I believe, is the key to any routine--finding joy
and comfort in the situation to make it stick. So whatever
works for you, whether it be a lunch hour at your favorite
bistro or curling into the sofa during the hush of your
baby's naptime, make sure that the time around your writing
involves something nurturing for you. If writing acts as
replenishment to your reserves and nourishes your soul,
you'll look forward to it everyday instead of avoiding it
like another chore.
Mobility/Flexibility:
I have a laptop. I don't see it as a luxury, but as a
necessity.
As you noticed above, I only write for two hours in the
morning. Then I either go to the clinic and work, or to my
garage and sit at the torch making beads. When those are
done I shift into Mommy mode, picking up the girls after
school, getting them to their activities, helping with
homework.
On Mondays and Wednesdays, I write in the car while I wait
for the girls to get out of Tae Kwon Doe. There's 1-2 hours
of solitude with the radio playing softly in the background,
just me and my laptop. (I have both an additional battery
and an extended life battery to allow me even more
flexibility.) On Tuesdays and Thursdays, I do it again
during my youngest's basketball practice and/or my oldest's
tennis lesson. Fridays I find an extra hour while the little
one is tooling around the ring on a horse.
You've got to take it when you can get it. For example, just
yesterday, my last patient at the clinic came in early,
which allowed me to finish her scan early, and I jammed out
of work to grab a late lunch and spend an unanticipated hour
on the synopsis for The Art of Danger.
In the evening, my bedroom is always the hub of activity,
and I can kiss my desktop computer goodbye. My oldest is
doing research or writing a report; my youngest wants to
play internet games. And while I give them time limits to
keep the peace, I'm not frustrated because I've got my
laptop, allowing me to get in another 2-3 hours of writing
before bedtime.
But don't let the technology of a laptop hinder you. Many
writers swear by their Alpha Smart. Still others thrive with
pencil and paper, which I sometimes resort to for
brainstorming or outlining. However you do it, if you've got
kids, if you work outside the home, you have to be able to
take your writing with you. (Just a little aside, I've
purchased my last two laptops on eBay for under $400, and
they've both been awesome. eBay also sells Alpha Smarts. But
know your prices before you bid or you could end up paying
more than you would buying it outright from the
manufacturer.)
Delegation and Letting go:
This is a non-negotiable element for me, and I urge anyone
who wants more sanity and serenity in their lives to just do it.
I've been married to my DH for 16 years. He's been a fireman
for 25+. I learned very early in our marriage that my life could go one of two
ways: 1) I could do everything for everyone else, get burnt
out, resentful, and depressed, or 2) I could delegate and
let the little stuff go.
The whole perfectionist, supermom syndrome went out the
window first, and a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. I
found I could actually live my life instead of
worry about it. My house is not always clean and/or
organized, I don't cook elaborate meals (in fact I rarely
cook, period), and I don't hit the gym every single day. But
I'm one hell of a lot happier than I was before I shed the
burden of those expectations (others' and my own) . In fact,
my kids and my husband are also happier because I'm happier
and easier to live with.
My daughters have learned to cook--they are great pasta
makers, quesadilla creators and can whip up a mean bowl of
oatmeal. They've learned that if they mess it up, they'll be
the ones cleaning it up and, amazingly enough, aren't quite
as messy as they used to be. And when DH is home, I do my
best to lever things off my shoulders and onto his.
In today's world, with all the incredible demands on our
time, creativity and flexibility are essential to carving
out time in our day to do what we love.
