>The Power of a Conversation About Your WIP
>By Molly Borter
The writing process is filled with hits and misses, twists and turns, and proud moments and disappointments. For the most part, the process came easy to me during my college years. I listened intently during lectures and made writing into a solitary experience, one in which I would sit in my silent room and let my own characters and creations float onto the page. I somehow managed to successfully integrate my professor’s tips into my pieces, would get mostly positive workshop feedback, and then continue the process all over again.It wasn’t until my final year at school that I realized my biggest flaw as a writer was my lack of conversation. During this time, I worked as a writing tutor helping students of all backgrounds talk about their writing, whether it was a brainstorming session on a personal essay or a discussion about dialogue flow in their romance novel. During our discussions, we would work together, both recognizing the areas that were going well and the components of their stories that were lacking. The conversations we had during their process made them that much more confident, their writing that much more focused, and the constant back-and-forth of ideas provided an alternate perspective in my own pieces.
Conversations are often taken for granted; most of us only talk about our writing once it is a finished product and not a work in progress. As adult writers, we have editors and family members to mention where we think our latest book’s plot may lead. These passing mentions in an email or at the dinner table are great, but when’s the last time you really sat down with someone in the middle or beginning of this process to tell them your fears in your character’s believability? When you needed help to overcome a huge writer’s block? When you finally created the perfect love scene between your hero and heroine? These concerns and accomplishments should be shared before, and not after, the book is printed.
Opening up that dialogue—no matter how experienced you are—is a healthy and significant part of the writing process. Whether it be with a colleague, with a spouse, a novelist friend, or a complete stranger, it is so vitally important to hear feedback, because we walk a fine, stressful line between finding a place in our minds where our stories come alive and actually letting the words on the page take readers to that same alternate world. Writing is our own, but it also thrives from being a collaborative experience, which in turn makes your job as a writer that much more entertaining, complex, and compelling.
My challenge to you is one that I continue to struggle with: Leave your messy computer desk, come out of that writing nook in the corner of your room, and talk about your writing. Although it may be difficult to expose yourself so early in the process, your clear mind, fresh perspective, and faithful readers will thank you for it.
Bio:
Molly Borter graduated with a degree in English Writing at DePauw University and works as a writer in Indianapolis, IN. In her spare time, she enjoys reading, blogging about beauty products and fashionable sunglasses, and spending time with her family and friends.
Laurie London Talks Writing & Her Latest Release–Embraced By Blood!
>
Laurie London’s EMBRACED BY BLOOD begins with immediate tension and ends with a race to the finish and all that conflict is sparked with sexual tension between the hero, Alfonso, and the heroine, Lily, throughout.Deep within the forests of the Pacific Northwest, two vampire coalitions battle for supremacy— Guardian enforcers who safeguard humanity, and Darkbloods, rogues who kill like their ancient ancestors.
Alfonso Serrano is a hunted man. For months he’s managed to elude the Darkbloods, vengeful foes who won’t rest until he’s dead. But he still craves one dangerous temptation: Lily DeGraff, the sexy Guardian agent he’ll risk anything to protect.
Lily is a wanted woman. Her talent for tracking Sweet—a rare blood type that’s addictive to vampires—makes her a prime target for enemy capture. Her only hope is the stealthy vampire operative who stole into her bed…then left her in despair. Danger aside, Lily won’t let Alfonso near her heart again—until an irresistible hunger threatens to draw them back together… and into an assassin’s snare.
Several elements give EMBRACED BY BLOOD a freshness that often snags the interest agents and editors. While this is a vampire novel, Laure gives her hero and heroine unique twists. Alfonso and Lily are not just vampires, but Guardians to humans, protecting them against another type of vampire called Darkbloods. DBs don’t just feed on humans for sustenance and leave them alive; DBs hunt humans, drain them of blood and life, and sell that blood on the black market. And the DBs are particularly interested in one rare human blood: Sweet, a type which all vampires crave, but one which is addictive. I immediately saw the multi-layered distinctiveness of this characterization: 1) Vampires protecting humans. 2) Vampires protecting humans against other vampires. 3) A Civil war of sorts, vampire against vampire, a fight which is based more on principle than on the human element. 4) Alfonso and Lily aren’t just trying to hide from human detection, but also hiding from Darkblood detection.
I was immediately intrigued by the premise of a vampire blood which is addictive. It struck me like methamphetamine for humans. A very fresh concept.
Q: Laurie, you’ve designed intricate conflict into your plot with the complication of vampire against vampire. Do you plot your conflict or does it grow naturally as you write?
A: A little of both, actually. The over-arching conflict is planned out ahead of time and I usually know the villain’s immediate goals, but some of the finer nuances of the inner conflict between the hero and heroine come as I’m writing the first draft. I expand on it when I go back and revise.
Q: The idea of Sweet, a type of human blood that is addictive to vampires reminds me of how prevalent and addictive methamphetamine is in our present society and what length people will go to the get it. Where did that idea come from?
A: As I wrote the first scene of the first book, Bonded by Blood, I was trying to figure out why Dom, the hero, would attack Mackenzie. He was one of the good guys and I knew he didn’t want to, that it was against his beliefs, but he was overwhelmed by his baser instincts. As I dug deeper, I knew it had something to do with her blood. This formed the basis for the whole series, where Darkbloods, the bad guys, sell this addictive blood on the vampire black market.
Q: The sexual tension between Lily and Alfonso is strong and immediate. The conflict their relationship history and their attraction add to the story is palpable. I’m a sucker for reunion stories, but they are fraught with emotion and difficult to manage within a complicated plot, and you do it seamlessly. Do you find this added element more challenging to write or does it flow with your plot as the other conflicts do?
A: Thank you! The chronology was very tricky for me to write. Some of the timing and framework of their relationship was set in book one and I had to work within those boundaries. I had calendars and spreadsheets of major events, when and where they took place in book one as well as in their backstories. Because I only loosely plot the stories ahead of time, when I was struck with an idea, I had to ask myself if it was even possible given what we already knew had happened.
Q: I believe paranormal writers choose nether creatures who appeal to them in some way. Why do you write about vampires?
A: Ever since my sister and I saw the old movie Fright Night eight times in a row in the theater, I was hooked on vampires. Shortly afterwards, my aunt gave me an old, beat up copy of An Interview with a Vampire. It’s that deadly mystique that haunts me. He’s that guy you should stay away from but you just can’t.
Q: Every book has something unusual in its history—the origin of an idea, a particular character who keeps trying to take over, a villain who didn’t turn out to be the villain afterall. What is most unusual or memorable about EMBRACED BY BLOOD?
A: I had planned to kill off Alfonso, the hero in Embraced, when he showed up briefly in Bonded. Thankfully, he wouldn’t let me do that.
Q: In what setting do most of your ideas and/or resolutions to problems come? For example, Elisabeth Naughton get a lot of “a-ha” moments in the shower or bath. I get mine while I’m driving. Is there a location or activity where you are most enlightened?
A: I’m with Elisabeth! There’s something about the movement and sound of water and the feel of it against my skin that gets my ideas flowing. Thank goodness we live on a well, otherwise our water bills would be really expensive!
Q: Your setting in EMBRACED BY BLOOD is very well done, a solid modern world where vampire live and roam and fight. World building is one of my greatest challenges. How do you approach your world building for paranormal romances?
A: As a reader, I’m drawn to paranormal worlds that take place in our contemporary world, that exist in secret, just beyond our knowledge. Not only do I enjoy it better as an author because many of the constructs are already in place for me (like writing a historical romance set in Regency England), but as a reader, I like to feel as if I’m a character in the book. If the story is set in a city or world that’s familiar to me, it makes it easier to suspend my disbelief and step into that character. For a brief, brief moment, I did consider making the world open, where humans knew about the existence of vampires, but this went against some of the reasons I find the sub-genre so fascinating as a reader, so I squelched that idea quickly.
Q: Zoe, Lily’s daughter, is a charming surprise in EMBRACED BY BLOOD. I personally enjoy writing and reading children in novels as long as they play a part in the story’s conflict and/or enrich main characters, which Zoe does well. How do you feel about children in romance fiction?
A: I actually don’t like reading romances with children, if you can imagine that. I just don’t find those kinds of stories all that sexy. Heartwarming? Yes. But sexy? No. If things are heating up on the page, I’m always worried where the kids are. The next room? Upstairs? Will they sneak in and spoil the moment? Maybe because that is too much like my real life, I don’t like reading about it. LOL But this was Lily’s story and she came onto the pages as a single mother. I couldn’t NOT write her story because of that. I tried to handle it in such a way that this wasn’t an issue. Zoe was never under the same roof when Lily and Alfonso got romantic, so I, the reader and the author, could relax.
Q: What are you working on now?
A: I just finished page proofs for the Sweetblood story I wrote in the anthology A VAMPIRE FOR CHRISTMAS, which comes out in October. And I’m also working on Tempted By Blood, Jackson’s story, which will be out early next year.
Fantastic interview, Laurie!! Thanks so much for coming and sharing your process and
Lily and Alfonso with us!
Lily and Alfonso with us!
Be sure to leave a comment or ask Laurie a question to be entered
to win:
1 copy of EMBRACED BY BLOOD
1 copy of BONDED BY BLOOD
1 of 5 custom handmade bookmarks
1 of 5 custom handmade bookmarks
**Books US/Canada only; Bookmarks International**
**MUST leave a contact email to be eligible to win!**
A graduate of Western Washington University with a BA in Business Administration and a former tester/programmer for a Fortune 500 company, Laurie London now writes from her home near Seattle where she lives with her husband and two children. BONDED BY BLOOD, A Sweetblood Novel comes out February 2011 from HQN. EMBRACED BY BLOOD, the second book in the series, is coming July 2011.
>Laurie London Talks Writing & Her Latest Release–Embraced By Blood!
>
Laurie London’s EMBRACED BY BLOOD begins with immediate tension and ends with a race to the finish and all that conflict is sparked with sexual tension between the hero, Alfonso, and the heroine, Lily, throughout.Deep within the forests of the Pacific Northwest, two vampire coalitions battle for supremacy— Guardian enforcers who safeguard humanity, and Darkbloods, rogues who kill like their ancient ancestors.
Alfonso Serrano is a hunted man. For months he’s managed to elude the Darkbloods, vengeful foes who won’t rest until he’s dead. But he still craves one dangerous temptation: Lily DeGraff, the sexy Guardian agent he’ll risk anything to protect.
Lily is a wanted woman. Her talent for tracking Sweet—a rare blood type that’s addictive to vampires—makes her a prime target for enemy capture. Her only hope is the stealthy vampire operative who stole into her bed…then left her in despair. Danger aside, Lily won’t let Alfonso near her heart again—until an irresistible hunger threatens to draw them back together… and into an assassin’s snare.
Several elements give EMBRACED BY BLOOD a freshness that often snags the interest agents and editors. While this is a vampire novel, Laure gives her hero and heroine unique twists. Alfonso and Lily are not just vampires, but Guardians to humans, protecting them against another type of vampire called Darkbloods. DBs don’t just feed on humans for sustenance and leave them alive; DBs hunt humans, drain them of blood and life, and sell that blood on the black market. And the DBs are particularly interested in one rare human blood: Sweet, a type which all vampires crave, but one which is addictive. I immediately saw the multi-layered distinctiveness of this characterization: 1) Vampires protecting humans. 2) Vampires protecting humans against other vampires. 3) A Civil war of sorts, vampire against vampire, a fight which is based more on principle than on the human element. 4) Alfonso and Lily aren’t just trying to hide from human detection, but also hiding from Darkblood detection.
I was immediately intrigued by the premise of a vampire blood which is addictive. It struck me like methamphetamine for humans. A very fresh concept.
Q: Laurie, you’ve designed intricate conflict into your plot with the complication of vampire against vampire. Do you plot your conflict or does it grow naturally as you write?
A: A little of both, actually. The over-arching conflict is planned out ahead of time and I usually know the villain’s immediate goals, but some of the finer nuances of the inner conflict between the hero and heroine come as I’m writing the first draft. I expand on it when I go back and revise.
Q: The idea of Sweet, a type of human blood that is addictive to vampires reminds me of how prevalent and addictive methamphetamine is in our present society and what length people will go to the get it. Where did that idea come from?
A: As I wrote the first scene of the first book, Bonded by Blood, I was trying to figure out why Dom, the hero, would attack Mackenzie. He was one of the good guys and I knew he didn’t want to, that it was against his beliefs, but he was overwhelmed by his baser instincts. As I dug deeper, I knew it had something to do with her blood. This formed the basis for the whole series, where Darkbloods, the bad guys, sell this addictive blood on the vampire black market.
Q: The sexual tension between Lily and Alfonso is strong and immediate. The conflict their relationship history and their attraction add to the story is palpable. I’m a sucker for reunion stories, but they are fraught with emotion and difficult to manage within a complicated plot, and you do it seamlessly. Do you find this added element more challenging to write or does it flow with your plot as the other conflicts do?
A: Thank you! The chronology was very tricky for me to write. Some of the timing and framework of their relationship was set in book one and I had to work within those boundaries. I had calendars and spreadsheets of major events, when and where they took place in book one as well as in their backstories. Because I only loosely plot the stories ahead of time, when I was struck with an idea, I had to ask myself if it was even possible given what we already knew had happened.
Q: I believe paranormal writers choose nether creatures who appeal to them in some way. Why do you write about vampires?
A: Ever since my sister and I saw the old movie Fright Night eight times in a row in the theater, I was hooked on vampires. Shortly afterwards, my aunt gave me an old, beat up copy of An Interview with a Vampire. It’s that deadly mystique that haunts me. He’s that guy you should stay away from but you just can’t.
Q: Every book has something unusual in its history—the origin of an idea, a particular character who keeps trying to take over, a villain who didn’t turn out to be the villain afterall. What is most unusual or memorable about EMBRACED BY BLOOD?
A: I had planned to kill off Alfonso, the hero in Embraced, when he showed up briefly in Bonded. Thankfully, he wouldn’t let me do that.
Q: In what setting do most of your ideas and/or resolutions to problems come? For example, Elisabeth Naughton get a lot of “a-ha” moments in the shower or bath. I get mine while I’m driving. Is there a location or activity where you are most enlightened?
A: I’m with Elisabeth! There’s something about the movement and sound of water and the feel of it against my skin that gets my ideas flowing. Thank goodness we live on a well, otherwise our water bills would be really expensive!
Q: Your setting in EMBRACED BY BLOOD is very well done, a solid modern world where vampire live and roam and fight. World building is one of my greatest challenges. How do you approach your world building for paranormal romances?
A: As a reader, I’m drawn to paranormal worlds that take place in our contemporary world, that exist in secret, just beyond our knowledge. Not only do I enjoy it better as an author because many of the constructs are already in place for me (like writing a historical romance set in Regency England), but as a reader, I like to feel as if I’m a character in the book. If the story is set in a city or world that’s familiar to me, it makes it easier to suspend my disbelief and step into that character. For a brief, brief moment, I did consider making the world open, where humans knew about the existence of vampires, but this went against some of the reasons I find the sub-genre so fascinating as a reader, so I squelched that idea quickly.
Q: Zoe, Lily’s daughter, is a charming surprise in EMBRACED BY BLOOD. I personally enjoy writing and reading children in novels as long as they play a part in the story’s conflict and/or enrich main characters, which Zoe does well. How do you feel about children in romance fiction?
A: I actually don’t like reading romances with children, if you can imagine that. I just don’t find those kinds of stories all that sexy. Heartwarming? Yes. But sexy? No. If things are heating up on the page, I’m always worried where the kids are. The next room? Upstairs? Will they sneak in and spoil the moment? Maybe because that is too much like my real life, I don’t like reading about it. LOL But this was Lily’s story and she came onto the pages as a single mother. I couldn’t NOT write her story because of that. I tried to handle it in such a way that this wasn’t an issue. Zoe was never under the same roof when Lily and Alfonso got romantic, so I, the reader and the author, could relax.
Q: What are you working on now?
A: I just finished page proofs for the Sweetblood story I wrote in the anthology A VAMPIRE FOR CHRISTMAS, which comes out in October. And I’m also working on Tempted By Blood, Jackson’s story, which will be out early next year.
Fantastic interview, Laurie!! Thanks so much for coming and sharing your process and
Lily and Alfonso with us!
Lily and Alfonso with us!
Be sure to leave a comment or ask Laurie a question to be entered
to win:
1 copy of EMBRACED BY BLOOD
1 copy of BONDED BY BLOOD
1 of 5 custom handmade bookmarks
1 of 5 custom handmade bookmarks
**Books US/Canada only; Bookmarks International**
**MUST leave a contact email to be eligible to win!**
A graduate of Western Washington University with a BA in Business Administration and a former tester/programmer for a Fortune 500 company, Laurie London now writes from her home near Seattle where she lives with her husband and two children. BONDED BY BLOOD, A Sweetblood Novel comes out February 2011 from HQN. EMBRACED BY BLOOD, the second book in the series, is coming July 2011.
A Novel Approach To Marketing = Authenticity
>(Comment for a chance to win a $25 Barnes & Noble Gift Card)
Even before I sold my first novel to Alicia Condon at Kensington, even before I contracted with my agent, Paige Wheeler, I was angling for market share as an author. As a pre-pubbed, pre-agented writer dreaming of that “someday” call, I would walk down the aisles of WalMart thinking to myself, how did they get here? Then asking myself, how do I get here?
For years I didn’t have the answer. I looked to everyone else for tips, tricks, advice, direction. One writer says blog, another says don’t bother. One author says promote out the wazoo, another says, I never promote and I’m NYT. One agent says, your premise isn’t unique enough, another says the same premise is far too “out there”.
I did the website, the blogging, the facebook, the twitter. I took the dozens of classes on craft and storytelling and promotion. I read. I wrote. I submitted. I queried.
About 8 years later, by the time I signed with my agent, I realized what all published authors realize at some point…most before they even sell: there is no shortcut, no trick, no “magic beans” as Lauren Dane says.
In the last six months, as I’ve struggled to cultivate clever marketing strategies in preparation of my upcoming release, I’ve watched the industry and the changes within. Like so many other authors, companies and entrepreneurs out there, I’ve wondered just how to gain the attention of the customers (read: readers) I hope to cultivate soon. Ultimately, I sat back, frustrated, disheartened and dazed, doubtful there was really any way I could make a dent in the attention deficit that has become our target market.
Taking that break from what felt like an upstream swim helped me settle. I found myself able to look at the whirlpool from a different perspective and I discovered what I was doing that was holding me back: focusing on myself.
When I decided to dip my toes back in the water, it was with a stronger sense of who I am, where I fit and how far I will allow myself to be drawn into the pull of it all.
I’m a giver at heart. Even as a kid, I’ve always enjoyed giving presents more than getting them. I’m absolutely positive this is some personality disorder that is documented in the DSM-IV (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders), but in the end, it’s just me–good or bad. So when I waded back to the waters edge, I suppose I did it more authentically. I utilized twitter and facebook and blogging as a way to give to others — information, advice, technique, antidotes, gifts, thanks, whatever I felt I had/have to offer.
Not only did it feel good, it felt right. I felt as if I’d found my groove. In this economic slump, an environment of dwindling audience and growing competition for said audience’s attention, simply giving without expectation of return on investment isn’t generally thought of as the first or best plan of action, but it fits me.
The best part is that I’ve discovered it fits a lot of other people out there, too. I’ve had a tremendously positive response and feel like I’m finally settled where I want to be…right on the edge of all the fun where I can watch and participate without getting run over or worn out.
Today I came across an article that validated my search for marketing authenticity. I want to share a few quote from the article, as I could not illiterate my point of view any better. The piece was written by Michael Stelzner, co founder of Social Media Examiner and you can find the complete articleHERE — definitely worth the read.
But here are a few passages that spoke to me…intimately:
- Have you noticed that everything is changing? Your industry advances, ideas expand, products morph and your customers move on. Similar to space travel, everything’s hurtling forward. Nothing remains still. Just when you think you have everything figured out, it all changes!
Um…yes! This is why I stopped trying when my head was spinning 90mph.
- We’ve been treating people like fish. We’ve been taught to simply crawl into a boat, paddle out to where the customers are, grab our reel and cast out on top of customers. Then just jiggle that bait the right way and you’ll be able to force a customer into your boat.
As a customer, I recognize this tactic. And, no, I don’t like it. It makes me feel…ordinary, forgetable, disposable.
- If you want to connect with customers and attract raving fans, the solution is very simple: Focus on people.
I LOVE this!!
- You can meet the needs of people by helping them solve their problems at no cost. When you help people with their smaller problems, many will look to you for their bigger issues.
- Great content PLUS other people MINUS marketing messages EQUALS growth!
- When you offer great content—such as detailed how-to articles, videos—that focuses on helping other people solve their problems, you’ll experience growth. Why? Because this type of content meets the needs of people. It doesn’t focus on you, your products or your company. It is a true gift to your audience.
- Once the marketing messages are caged, the focus of your company shifts from “What can we sell you?” to “How can we help you?” You shift from pitching products to boosting people.
Now there’s a concept — boosting OTHERS, not just YOURSELF!! Wow, how novel!
- With the old forms of marketing, you pitch and sell. People ignore you and your business is at risk. With the new method, you give gifts, people trust you and you become indispensable.
- The result: You no longer need to sell! Instead, you demonstrate your expertise by the content you produce, the ideas you showcase, the stories you share and the people you attract. By creating a platform for others, you can also build strategic alliances, quickly grow a large following and dominate your industry.
- You have the chance to own the place people go to for help, eliminating your reliance on traditional marketing channels. You can become the center of your industry, niche or local market. And when that happens, you’re launched on an unstoppable trajectory that will take you places you never imagined possible.
Well, there you have it…in theory anyway. IMO, I love the theory, it works for me, it feels good and I’m going to stick with it.
I’m a big believer in karma. How about you? What are your thoughts on this theory?
Comment for a chance to win a $25 Barnes & Noble gift card!
>A Novel Approach To Marketing = Authenticity
>(Comment for a chance to win a $25 Barnes & Noble Gift Card)
Even before I sold my first novel to Alicia Condon at Kensington, even before I contracted with my agent, Paige Wheeler, I was angling for market share as an author. As a pre-pubbed, pre-agented writer dreaming of that “someday” call, I would walk down the aisles of WalMart thinking to myself, how did they get here? Then asking myself, how do I get here?
For years I didn’t have the answer. I looked to everyone else for tips, tricks, advice, direction. One writer says blog, another says don’t bother. One author says promote out the wazoo, another says, I never promote and I’m NYT. One agent says, your premise isn’t unique enough, another says the same premise is far too “out there”.
I did the website, the blogging, the facebook, the twitter. I took the dozens of classes on craft and storytelling and promotion. I read. I wrote. I submitted. I queried.
About 8 years later, by the time I signed with my agent, I realized what all published authors realize at some point…most before they even sell: there is no shortcut, no trick, no “magic beans” as Lauren Dane says.
In the last six months, as I’ve struggled to cultivate clever marketing strategies in preparation of my upcoming release, I’ve watched the industry and the changes within. Like so many other authors, companies and entrepreneurs out there, I’ve wondered just how to gain the attention of the customers (read: readers) I hope to cultivate soon. Ultimately, I sat back, frustrated, disheartened and dazed, doubtful there was really any way I could make a dent in the attention deficit that has become our target market.
Taking that break from what felt like an upstream swim helped me settle. I found myself able to look at the whirlpool from a different perspective and I discovered what I was doing that was holding me back: focusing on myself.
When I decided to dip my toes back in the water, it was with a stronger sense of who I am, where I fit and how far I will allow myself to be drawn into the pull of it all.
I’m a giver at heart. Even as a kid, I’ve always enjoyed giving presents more than getting them. I’m absolutely positive this is some personality disorder that is documented in the DSM-IV (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders), but in the end, it’s just me–good or bad. So when I waded back to the waters edge, I suppose I did it more authentically. I utilized twitter and facebook and blogging as a way to give to others — information, advice, technique, antidotes, gifts, thanks, whatever I felt I had/have to offer.
Not only did it feel good, it felt right. I felt as if I’d found my groove. In this economic slump, an environment of dwindling audience and growing competition for said audience’s attention, simply giving without expectation of return on investment isn’t generally thought of as the first or best plan of action, but it fits me.
The best part is that I’ve discovered it fits a lot of other people out there, too. I’ve had a tremendously positive response and feel like I’m finally settled where I want to be…right on the edge of all the fun where I can watch and participate without getting run over or worn out.
Today I came across an article that validated my search for marketing authenticity. I want to share a few quote from the article, as I could not illiterate my point of view any better. The piece was written by Michael Stelzner, co founder of Social Media Examiner and you can find the complete articleHERE — definitely worth the read.
But here are a few passages that spoke to me…intimately:
- Have you noticed that everything is changing? Your industry advances, ideas expand, products morph and your customers move on. Similar to space travel, everything’s hurtling forward. Nothing remains still. Just when you think you have everything figured out, it all changes!
Um…yes! This is why I stopped trying when my head was spinning 90mph.
- We’ve been treating people like fish. We’ve been taught to simply crawl into a boat, paddle out to where the customers are, grab our reel and cast out on top of customers. Then just jiggle that bait the right way and you’ll be able to force a customer into your boat.
As a customer, I recognize this tactic. And, no, I don’t like it. It makes me feel…ordinary, forgetable, disposable.
- If you want to connect with customers and attract raving fans, the solution is very simple: Focus on people.
I LOVE this!!
- You can meet the needs of people by helping them solve their problems at no cost. When you help people with their smaller problems, many will look to you for their bigger issues.
- Great content PLUS other people MINUS marketing messages EQUALS growth!
- When you offer great content—such as detailed how-to articles, videos—that focuses on helping other people solve their problems, you’ll experience growth. Why? Because this type of content meets the needs of people. It doesn’t focus on you, your products or your company. It is a true gift to your audience.
- Once the marketing messages are caged, the focus of your company shifts from “What can we sell you?” to “How can we help you?” You shift from pitching products to boosting people.
Now there’s a concept — boosting OTHERS, not just YOURSELF!! Wow, how novel!
- With the old forms of marketing, you pitch and sell. People ignore you and your business is at risk. With the new method, you give gifts, people trust you and you become indispensable.
- The result: You no longer need to sell! Instead, you demonstrate your expertise by the content you produce, the ideas you showcase, the stories you share and the people you attract. By creating a platform for others, you can also build strategic alliances, quickly grow a large following and dominate your industry.
- You have the chance to own the place people go to for help, eliminating your reliance on traditional marketing channels. You can become the center of your industry, niche or local market. And when that happens, you’re launched on an unstoppable trajectory that will take you places you never imagined possible.
Well, there you have it…in theory anyway. IMO, I love the theory, it works for me, it feels good and I’m going to stick with it.
I’m a big believer in karma. How about you? What are your thoughts on this theory?
Comment for a chance to win a $25 Barnes & Noble gift card!
The Real Story Behind Pacing…post at Magical Musings
>I used to think pacing was all about action. Car chases, shootouts, hostage situation or, if we’re talking about a contemporary romance, it would be a personal crisis or business in immediate jeopardy.
Then I read the most recent Koontz novel What the Night Knows. And I realized that pacing isn’t about action, it’s all about presenting story questions then making your reader wait to discover the answer.
>The Real Story Behind Pacing…post at Magical Musings
>I used to think pacing was all about action. Car chases, shootouts, hostage situation or, if we’re talking about a contemporary romance, it would be a personal crisis or business in immediate jeopardy.
Then I read the most recent Koontz novel What the Night Knows. And I realized that pacing isn’t about action, it’s all about presenting story questions then making your reader wait to discover the answer.
Positive Self-Talk–Examples
>
Yes, I know, I’m late. I promised Tuesday and it’s Thursday. Life–it’s my only excuse.This is the third post in the theme of utilizing your subconscious in writing and life. While the posts layer upon each other for a deeper understanding, they each stand alone as well. For more information check out the previous posts:
Today I’m sharing a bunch of great examples of positive self-talk you can adopt, alter and make your own.
I’m the type who always wants to know why something works. If I get a crap answer, I’ll doubt the premise. If I get a logical or scientific answer, I’m apt to believe. Or, at least believe until something happens to make me doubt.
So…why does self-talk work?
- Self-talk affects the subconscious mind. It is the type of talk that chatters constantly in the back of our minds without specific, conscious thought. Things we think, but don’t say. Things we tell ourselves about ourselves or about our job or our life, but don’t rationalize or justify before we say them.
- The subconscious mind is programmed similarly to the way a computer is programmed, so like a computer the subconscious mind will only perform the tasks it is programmed to perform.
- Information presented to the subconscious mind causes both a psychological and a physiological response.
- The subconscious mind does not hold any biases or beliefs other than those that have already been programmed in.
- The brain records exactly what it receives without regard to where it comes from or how it get the information. The brain doesn’t care whether the information is true or false, right or wrong.
- The programming you accept from others and the conscious and unconscious directives, pictures, feelings and thoughts that you transmit to yourself in your own control center of the brain–the subconscious mind.
Those are just some of the reasons. If you want to get down to the nitty-gritty, I suggest reading The Self-Talk Solution by Shad Helmstetter, which is one of the main sources of my information. I’ve gathered other supporting information on this topic from various other experts in the field of psychology.
Before we get into the examples of what we should be saying to ourselves, it would be beneficial to recognize what types of phrases we should not be saying.
What NOT to say:
- Nothing ever goes right. (a.k.a. Could just one thing go right?)
- I’m no good at … (fill in the blank) (a.k.a. I’m not that creative/smart/ambitious)
- Why should I try? It won’t work out anyway.
- I can’t get caught up. (I don’t have enough time. This is too much work.)
- I’ve tried, I can’t.
- What is wrong with me today? (a.k.a. Why isn’t my mind working?)
- It’s just not my day.
- I’m so tired.
I’ve been guilty of just about every one of these in one form or another — for the better part of my life. Hence, my generally negative/pessimistic personality for the majority of my years.
Now, I consciously make the effort to change my thoughts around by restructuring my sentences.
Mini personal story: At my work, there is one particular doctor who is incredibly challenging to work with. My self-esteem always seemed to take a hit after a shift with her. I developed my own “mantra” for self-talk repetition whenever we worked together. I am enough. I do enough. I know enough. This short, quick, easy little string of words greatly enhanced my working experience with her and reduced the stress during those days.
Things TO say:
- I’m making progress.
- I can handle this.
- I’m willing to try.
- I am in control of this.
- I am excellent at … writing/singing/problem solving
- I have a fantastic … mind/talent/ability with people
- I keep trying.
- I’ll get it.
So, here are a few examples for different parts of your life, although they are heavily weighted toward creativity/writing because that is my main audience here. But you can take the base of any statement and change it to fit your specific situation and/or need.
Most of these are generalized. I’ve put options related to how you could tailor them toward your writing life in (parenthesis).
**Remember, the key to making self-talk work isn’t simply repeating the words over and over. But, visualize, feel it, live it and infuse gratitude.
Creativity: Because creativity is the essence of writing.
It’s not a question of whether you can be more creative. The question is only whether you will allow yourself to exercise the creativity you already have. ~Shad Helmstetter
- I see my own creativity as the key that unlocks my true potential (as an author).
- I admire and respect others who use their own imagination to benefit themselves and others (their characters).
- I know others see me and respect me as a creative, resourceful individual (writer).
- I am not afraid to try the untried, walk new paths or search for new or better alternatives in my life (writing).
- Today, I am more creative then ever before.
- Since my imagination has no limits, my creativity knows no bounds.
- The more I practice using my creative mind (writing), the more creative (successful) I become.
- My own creativity allows me to unlock the source from which all ideas flow (bestsellers are born).
- I am a bestseller. I am a bestseller. I am…oh, sorry. Got a little carried away there.
Overcoming the fear of failure: Because even multi-published authors fear this with every book.
- I am never afraid to try. I enjoy staying with it and moving forward.
- I give myself freedom to fail and reap the success those attempts have brought me.
- I prepare myself with the knowledge and skill I need to succeed.
Getting more done: Because we writers are consummate procrastinators.
- I place great value on taking action. I see what needs to be done and I do it.
- Both the quality and the quantity of what I do (my writing) is important to me. The rewards I achieve are worth the investment I make.
- I look forward each day to increasing my effectiveness (word count) and accomplishing more.
Perseverance (and hope): Because no author would succeed without it.
- I have faith, I have courage, I have belief–in myself and my writing.
- Each day I have more hope and conviction in my ability to solve any problem (craft a novel worthy of the bestsellers list).
- I never give up. I am a winner, and I give myself the energy and belief to come out on top (of the bestsellers list).
Dealing with problems: Because in the publishing industry, there is no avoiding them.
- I like challenges and meet them head on.
- My will, my strength, my determination are always stronger than any problem I face.
- I know every problem holds within itself the keys to its own solution.
Speaking and Writing with Confidence: Self-explanatory.
- I have good ideas and I am able to express my ideas in a clear and interesting way. (I’m a killer storyteller.)
- People like the way I express myself, and they enjoy hearing my thoughts and ideas. (People love my writing and enjoy reading my novels).
- My mind gives me the words I need, right when I need them.
Positive risk-taking: Because every new character, new plot, new story is a risk.
- To me, a good risk is a bridge to my success and a doorway to greater opportunity (the next contract).
- I am willing to accept those risks which are necessary for the fulfillment of my goals.
- Any risk I accept is a healthy new force in my life. A challenge and worthwhile goal. Another win in the making.
- I have the courage to do what I need to do (write on the edge) to get where I want to go (to the best seller’s list).
Improving your career: Because if you stagnate in the publishing sea, you get eaten by sharks.
- I enjoy seeking and finding new opportunities in my life (publishing).
- I never allow the word “no” to stop me or even slow me down.
- I look forward and never look back.
- I am creating a bright, positive, successful future for myself.
- I know where I’m going (I will be a bestseller), and I’m well on my way.
Learning to say no (a.k.a. protecting your writing time): Essential skill for every author.
- I carefully guard the time I set aside for things which are important to me (writing).
- My time and energies are gifts which I protect and give by my choice, not the dictates of others.
- Saying no is easy for me. I am confident, self-assured and in control of my life.
I could go on and on, but I’m sure you get the idea.
I would love to hear some of your own positive self-talk.
>Positive Self-Talk–Examples
>
Yes, I know, I’m late. I promised Tuesday and it’s Thursday. Life–it’s my only excuse.This is the third post in the theme of utilizing your subconscious in writing and life. While the posts layer upon each other for a deeper understanding, they each stand alone as well. For more information check out the previous posts:
Today I’m sharing a bunch of great examples of positive self-talk you can adopt, alter and make your own.
I’m the type who always wants to know why something works. If I get a crap answer, I’ll doubt the premise. If I get a logical or scientific answer, I’m apt to believe. Or, at least believe until something happens to make me doubt.
So…why does self-talk work?
- Self-talk affects the subconscious mind. It is the type of talk that chatters constantly in the back of our minds without specific, conscious thought. Things we think, but don’t say. Things we tell ourselves about ourselves or about our job or our life, but don’t rationalize or justify before we say them.
- The subconscious mind is programmed similarly to the way a computer is programmed, so like a computer the subconscious mind will only perform the tasks it is programmed to perform.
- Information presented to the subconscious mind causes both a psychological and a physiological response.
- The subconscious mind does not hold any biases or beliefs other than those that have already been programmed in.
- The brain records exactly what it receives without regard to where it comes from or how it get the information. The brain doesn’t care whether the information is true or false, right or wrong.
- The programming you accept from others and the conscious and unconscious directives, pictures, feelings and thoughts that you transmit to yourself in your own control center of the brain–the subconscious mind.
Those are just some of the reasons. If you want to get down to the nitty-gritty, I suggest reading The Self-Talk Solution by Shad Helmstetter, which is one of the main sources of my information. I’ve gathered other supporting information on this topic from various other experts in the field of psychology.
Before we get into the examples of what we should be saying to ourselves, it would be beneficial to recognize what types of phrases we should not be saying.
What NOT to say:
- Nothing ever goes right. (a.k.a. Could just one thing go right?)
- I’m no good at … (fill in the blank) (a.k.a. I’m not that creative/smart/ambitious)
- Why should I try? It won’t work out anyway.
- I can’t get caught up. (I don’t have enough time. This is too much work.)
- I’ve tried, I can’t.
- What is wrong with me today? (a.k.a. Why isn’t my mind working?)
- It’s just not my day.
- I’m so tired.
I’ve been guilty of just about every one of these in one form or another — for the better part of my life. Hence, my generally negative/pessimistic personality for the majority of my years.
Now, I consciously make the effort to change my thoughts around by restructuring my sentences.
Mini personal story: At my work, there is one particular doctor who is incredibly challenging to work with. My self-esteem always seemed to take a hit after a shift with her. I developed my own “mantra” for self-talk repetition whenever we worked together. I am enough. I do enough. I know enough. This short, quick, easy little string of words greatly enhanced my working experience with her and reduced the stress during those days.
Things TO say:
- I’m making progress.
- I can handle this.
- I’m willing to try.
- I am in control of this.
- I am excellent at … writing/singing/problem solving
- I have a fantastic … mind/talent/ability with people
- I keep trying.
- I’ll get it.
So, here are a few examples for different parts of your life, although they are heavily weighted toward creativity/writing because that is my main audience here. But you can take the base of any statement and change it to fit your specific situation and/or need.
Most of these are generalized. I’ve put options related to how you could tailor them toward your writing life in (parenthesis).
**Remember, the key to making self-talk work isn’t simply repeating the words over and over. But, visualize, feel it, live it and infuse gratitude.
Creativity: Because creativity is the essence of writing.
It’s not a question of whether you can be more creative. The question is only whether you will allow yourself to exercise the creativity you already have. ~Shad Helmstetter
- I see my own creativity as the key that unlocks my true potential (as an author).
- I admire and respect others who use their own imagination to benefit themselves and others (their characters).
- I know others see me and respect me as a creative, resourceful individual (writer).
- I am not afraid to try the untried, walk new paths or search for new or better alternatives in my life (writing).
- Today, I am more creative then ever before.
- Since my imagination has no limits, my creativity knows no bounds.
- The more I practice using my creative mind (writing), the more creative (successful) I become.
- My own creativity allows me to unlock the source from which all ideas flow (bestsellers are born).
- I am a bestseller. I am a bestseller. I am…oh, sorry. Got a little carried away there.
Overcoming the fear of failure: Because even multi-published authors fear this with every book.
- I am never afraid to try. I enjoy staying with it and moving forward.
- I give myself freedom to fail and reap the success those attempts have brought me.
- I prepare myself with the knowledge and skill I need to succeed.
Getting more done: Because we writers are consummate procrastinators.
- I place great value on taking action. I see what needs to be done and I do it.
- Both the quality and the quantity of what I do (my writing) is important to me. The rewards I achieve are worth the investment I make.
- I look forward each day to increasing my effectiveness (word count) and accomplishing more.
Perseverance (and hope): Because no author would succeed without it.
- I have faith, I have courage, I have belief–in myself and my writing.
- Each day I have more hope and conviction in my ability to solve any problem (craft a novel worthy of the bestsellers list).
- I never give up. I am a winner, and I give myself the energy and belief to come out on top (of the bestsellers list).
Dealing with problems: Because in the publishing industry, there is no avoiding them.
- I like challenges and meet them head on.
- My will, my strength, my determination are always stronger than any problem I face.
- I know every problem holds within itself the keys to its own solution.
Speaking and Writing with Confidence: Self-explanatory.
- I have good ideas and I am able to express my ideas in a clear and interesting way. (I’m a killer storyteller.)
- People like the way I express myself, and they enjoy hearing my thoughts and ideas. (People love my writing and enjoy reading my novels).
- My mind gives me the words I need, right when I need them.
Positive risk-taking: Because every new character, new plot, new story is a risk.
- To me, a good risk is a bridge to my success and a doorway to greater opportunity (the next contract).
- I am willing to accept those risks which are necessary for the fulfillment of my goals.
- Any risk I accept is a healthy new force in my life. A challenge and worthwhile goal. Another win in the making.
- I have the courage to do what I need to do (write on the edge) to get where I want to go (to the best seller’s list).
Improving your career: Because if you stagnate in the publishing sea, you get eaten by sharks.
- I enjoy seeking and finding new opportunities in my life (publishing).
- I never allow the word “no” to stop me or even slow me down.
- I look forward and never look back.
- I am creating a bright, positive, successful future for myself.
- I know where I’m going (I will be a bestseller), and I’m well on my way.
Learning to say no (a.k.a. protecting your writing time): Essential skill for every author.
- I carefully guard the time I set aside for things which are important to me (writing).
- My time and energies are gifts which I protect and give by my choice, not the dictates of others.
- Saying no is easy for me. I am confident, self-assured and in control of my life.
I could go on and on, but I’m sure you get the idea.
I would love to hear some of your own positive self-talk.
Positive Self-Talk? Seriously?
>Yes. Seriously.
We all talk to ourselves. (Writers probably more than most…maybe because we have little people running around in our heads.) Whether we talk out loud or simply think concretely or even just let background chatter drift through our minds, we are all talking to ourselves all day long.
That talk can be good or bad. It can support our goals and drive us to achieve or it can gut our drive to even try. We often aren’t aware of what we’re actually saying to ourselves. By neglecting to notice our negative self-talk we may be permitting a continual flow of worry and self-criticism. But by recognizing the power of positive self-talk, we have the potential to bring about positive change in our lives.
I’ve struggled with the whole glass half full-glass half empty concept for decades. I’d venture to say a lot of us have or still do. The truth is, our outlook — pessimistic vs. optimistic (I also believe there is a state in between I call realistic) developed long before we had a choice.
From the day we’re born, every word, every thought, every action became imprints placed on our subconscious by others. Later on, in childhood, adolescence and young adulthood our own words, thoughts and images of how we view ourselves create a lasting impression in our subconscious–those concepts largely a product of how we were raised.
If your young years were filled with positivity, support, unconditional love and accolades at every turn — you’ve got a head start. If you experienced more punishment than praise, more cynicism than support or more criticism than kudos — you have a little harder road to walk.
Either way, as adults we have to create our own lives, and with the stresses and responsibilities of everyday life…the truth is…its rough. If you’re a writer (by definition a tad more sensitive than the general population), the roller coaster ride toward publication, or even just attempting to express yourself competently, can take a toll on even the rosiest outlook.
The good news: no matter how positive or negative our early years, what successes or failures we’ve experienced, how many trophies or trials we’ve collected, we can all end up in the same place in our individual lives–one of achievement, comfort, contentment and positivity to the level of our own personal best.
The power is in cultivating our subconscious mind. (No voo-doo involved. Promise.)
I believe my success with positive self-talk is a result of a combination of techniques. In the working form, positive self-talk is really a combination of self-talk, affirmations and the law of attraction.
- Self-talk: thoughts regarding ourselves that pass through our mind.
- Affirmations: a carefully formatted, positive statement that is repeated to one’s self.
- Law of Attraction: A theory that states “like attracts like” and your dominant thoughts will find a way to manifest, good or bad.
That said, we all know simply repeating, “I am happy.” “I am happy.” “I am happy.” will most likely lead to a hair-pulling event during which the affirmation slips into something more like, “I’m happy, dammit!” “Look how frigging happy I am!” “I’m as happy as a cricket in a freaking frogs belly for God’s sake!”
So, here are a few tips that took my self-talk from mindless repetition to meaningful statements and turned my brain and my perspective around:
Visualize
We all know how to daydream. That’s all visualization is–a daydream. So, when you decide on the powerful self-talk statements, visualize that statement.
- Let’s say your statement is: I am patient and flexible. What would it look like to be patient? Imagine yourself in a line at the store, relaxed, observing the surroundings, maybe chatting with the person ahead or behind you, with no one waiting on you, no where you have to be. Imagine you have all the time in the world and waiting another minute or two won’t affect your life one way or the other.
- Let’s say your statement is: My daughter and I have a close relationship. We are open and honest with each other. What would it look like to be more in touch with your daughter? Visualize yourself picking her up from school, relaxed, looking forward to seeing her. Imagine listening, open and accepting, as she talks about her day. See yourself being the empathetic positive influence you want to be.
Imagine being your statement. Being exactly what you want in your life.
Feel it
If you were to feel the patience in the first example above, what emotions would you feel? What physical sensations would your body experience?
- While you visualize yourself waiting in line, maybe the tension drifts out of your shoulders. The muscles of your jaw relax. Your stance eases.
- Because you’re not focused on how slow the line is moving, how that cashier should really think about retirement, how you have so much to do somewhere else, you notice that the woman in front of you is wearing the most beautiful scarf you’ve ever seen.
-
Maybe you comment on it and make a new acquaintance. Maybe you just enjoy the pattern and color. Maybe it even gives you a new idea for a character you’re writing or a project you’re working on. Maybe it simply makes you happy.
That’s the great thing about day dreams — they’re all yours!
Live it
Be the person in your visualization, and apply it to your every day life. If you are the person with the open, warm relationship with your daughter (which you are–your self-talk confirms it), how would you go through your day?
- Your openness would extend to others. That acceptance and warmth would transform the relationships you have. You would be more confident. You would have closer connections throughout your life. You would be a good listener, empathetic, warm. You would be happier.
Living what you tell yourself you are, creates the very life you want.
Infuse Gratitude
Gratitude in itself is a life-changing force. The subject deserves a month of posts unto itself. But I found this concept both a powerful catalyst for moving my self-talk and visualizations forward and a motivating force to continue the self-talk even on a bad day.
When you say to yourself: I am patient and flexible, you follow that self-talk with the sensation of gratitude. Infusing gratitude into your self-talk often empowers me. Often it even makes me smile…or laugh.
- Traffic–there is test of patience. How about: I am so glad I’m patient and flexible, because that means I’m not an asshole like the guy who just cut me off. Or: I’m grateful my patience keeps me from stressing like that guy who just cut me off. Man, it would suck to be him.
And what about your relationship with your daughter?
- Try something like: I’m so lucky to have this awesome relationship with my daughter. Or: I’m so fortunate to have this gift in my life.
I’ll be back next Tuesday with lots of examples of positive self-talk for every area of your life and how to create your own.
In the mean time, if you’re interested in learning more about this topic, an excellent book is The Self-Talk Solution by Shad Helmstetter.
Can you share your experiences with self-talk, affirmations or the law of attraction?